This very question came into focus after the heartbreaking story of
Baylie Grogan, a healthy 20-year-old college student who was hit by a vehicle and went into a coma. Her mother was told by medical staff that, legally, they could not share information or allow her to make decisions on her daughter's behalf - because Baylie was legally an adult and had not named a health care proxy.
It's an unimaginable moment for any parent…. But it’s also a wake-up call. And, it’s a reminder that estate planning isn’t just for the elderly or wealthy - it's for every adult, even an 18-year-old. If you are a parent or guardian in New York or literally anywhere in the United States, and your child is approaching adulthood or already there, this conversation and reminder are for you.
Turning 18 Means Legal Adulthood
When your child turns 18, they are considered an adult under New York State law. That means:
- You, as a parent, no longer have automatic access to their medical records.
- You, as a parent, no longer have the authority to make health care decisions for them.
- You, as a parent, can’t step in if they’re unconscious, unable to speak, or otherwise incapacitated - unless you’ve been legally named to do so with the right documents (or potentially your child is in a hospital setting where state default rules can come into play where a parent can make certain medical decisions).
This may sound shocking, especially for parents who’ve spent nearly two decades handling every emergency and advocating for their child’s care. But under
HIPAA (the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act), adults - even those who have just become a legal adult - have full privacy rights over their own medical records.
According to the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, “Parents are not automatically authorized to access the health records of their adult children (18 or older) unless authorized by the individual.”
What Is a Health Care Proxy?
A
Health Care Proxy is a legal document that allows a person, the principal, to appoint someone else, the agent, to make medical decisions for them in the event that they are unable to do so for themselves.
In New York State, this document becomes essential the moment your child turns 18. It gives you (or someone they trust) legal authority to:
- Speak with their child’s doctors
- Access medical records
- Make decisions about treatment
- Advocate on their child’s behalf during emergencies
Yes, Literally Every Family Should Have This Conversation
Sometimes, it can be uncomfortable talking to your teen about estate planning. But, just like helping them set up a bank account or register to vote, helping them prepare legally for emergencies is an act of love and a big part of a parent’s responsibility that sometimes gets overlooked.. For example, imagine your 19-year-old at the University of Buffalo having a sudden accident or becoming critically ill. You get a call, you rush to see your child and want to handle matters and inquire on behalf of your child - and are told, “I’m sorry, we can’t allow you to make those decisions or share information with you.” According to a 2023 article by the
American Bar Association, “Every adult - regardless of age - should designate someone to make health care decisions for them if they’re unable to speak. This is especially important
for young adults, who often assume their parents can still act on their behalf, even though legally they cannot.”
So, What Documents Do you Recommend a Young Adult Have?
Here’s our quick list of documents every 18+ year old should have handy - with the help of an estate planning attorney - to ensure they’re completed properly and in a way where they will be accepted if there is ever a need.
1. Health Care Proxy
This is the #1 most important document for medical decision-making authority.
2. HIPAA Authorization
This allows the person (agent) named in the proxy to access health records and speak to providers, even if no decisions need to be made or the Health Care Proxy is not needed.
3. Durable Power of Attorney
This document allows someone to manage your child’s financial affairs if they’re incapacitated - for example, paying bills, handling bank accounts, or managing tuition or lease issues.
4. Living Will
This document lets your child express their wishes about end-of-life care - something many young adults have strong opinions on and may want to document.
4. A Last Will and Testament
This may seem ridiculous for a young adult to think about but even a car, clothing, sentimental items (and, a pet) should be planned for. It really is about laying the groundwork for the future. You want your young adult to keep up-to-date with estate planning. Educate your young adult how important this is now and into the future!
Is a Health Care Proxy for an 18-Year-Old Overdoing it?
No, absolutely not, and we’d love to take this opportunity to stress that helping your child with these documents is such an act of love! Having a proxy in place doesn't mean you expect something to go wrong - it simply means if something does go wrong, subsequent decisions will go as you have planned. As estate planning attorneys, we see some families come after a crisis has occurred, and some proactively - and the difference between the two is staggering. The families who have had these conversations early are able to focus on care and recovery, and those who did not now have to focus on legal paperwork and often overwhelming uncertainty.
Estate Planning for your Kids is about Empowerment, Not Control
Estate planning doesn’t end with just a will - and it certainly doesn’t start at the time of retirement. For young adults, having a health care proxy and a few other key documents is one of the simplest, most powerful ways to protect themselves and the people they love. If you’re in the Greater Buffalo area and want to learn more about how to help your young adult get legally prepared for life, we’re here for you. Make sure to visit our
Estate Planning Services page to learn more or
contact us to get started towards stronger peace of mind for you and your family!
